Link Building Is Like Getting Laid

link loveLast week, Mat had a post where someone asked the question:

I’ve contacted some of the sites that have linked to my competitors and requested that they link to me, but have never heard back.  What do I do?

And I couldn’t help myself but to email Mat a reply.

It was a little edgy, but he thought it was  funny informative whatever enough that he asked me to turn it into a post and be a random contributor.

Here. Goes. Nothing.

Some people are made to be hunters.

Some are made to be hunted.

Whether you are a hunter or a someone who is usually hunted — deep down inside, you know what your natural tendency is… and don’t even try lying to yourself about it.

So first you have to be completely honest with yourself and admit whether you are a hunt-er or a hunt-ed.

Once you know if your natural bias is to be a hunt-er or a hunt-ed, then you will know if you are a good link builder or not.

If you don’t naturally gravitate toward being a hunt-er, the truth is that you will probably suck as a link builder.


Because you most likely don’t have thick enough skin. Being a link builder takes a number of things, but high on the list is having unusually thick skin and being able to be completely comfortable with being told to get lost – or sometimes, GET LOST LOSER and then the occasional GET LOST LOSER BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE GOOGLE.

Let’s say a competitor of yours is getting great links from someone at a site and your mission is to get that person to give you a little linky-linky instead of your competitor.

What do you do?

Sure, each situation is 100% unique, but the first thing you need to do is find out if the person you are trying to get to give you a link is a hunt-er or a hunt-ed.

If The Person Is A Hunt-er

If the person who is handing out link love is a hunt-er, tread very, very lightly.

The truth is that most people who hand out link love in the world today aren’t hunt-ers — they are hunt-ed’s because they are more frequently the stable, pleasant content manager type who has been hired to manage a set of properties and not as often the balls-to-the-wall-whacko type that most hunt-ers are.

But if the person you want link love from is a true hunt-er (you can usually figure this out fairly quickly if your emotional IQ is above average) then you need to try an UNDERHAND approach.

Start by asking a question that has nothing to do with links and one that you know they will know the answer to. Toss them a softball when asking the question – one that is just hard enough that they will be able to feel smart, but not so difficult that it makes them feel dumb.

Then leave a comment somewhere on their site where they can see it.

Then leave another comment the next day, and then another for about a week or two.

Then stalk them on Twitter.

Then start talking with their FRIENDS on Twitter and get their friends to be your friends.

Once their friends are your friends, you can then triangle your new friend into your friend who is now the hunt-ed but they just don’t know it yet.

Then be understated as you try to find out how they get paid, how they feel about their job and what their boundaries are of what they will and won’t do.

Then after all that – and probably another 3 or 4 things I won’t tell you here… THEN AND ONLY THEN DO YOU ASK THEM FOR A LINK.

If The Person Is A Hunt-ed

If the person who is handing out link love is a hunt-ed — then it is just like picking out your spouse.

Since you are the hunt-er, you just go about it like you are going to make the hunt-ed fall in love with you.

The weird thing about this whole process is it is virtually identical to #1 except that you can take a more OVERHAND approach — meaning you can be more aggressive.

You might even be able to try the usual lines like “don’t worry, no one will know about it and of course I will still respect you in the morning…”

After you spend somewhere between 30 seconds and a month getting them all ready for the big consummation of your relationship… THEN AND ONLY THEN DO YOU ASK THEM FOR A LINK.

Whether the person you are trying to get a link from is a hunt-er or a hunt-ed, if you keep in mind the idea that getting a link is a lot like trying to get laid, it makes it much, much funner easier.

Are you looking for: a one-link-stand? Someone who can be your emergency linky-call? A long term link-ationship? A link-buddy? A non-committal-linkout? Someone who has never been linked before? Someone you don’t have to worry about getting mad about your link as long as you leave money on the dresser on your way out?

No matter what kind of link-love you are looking for, if you follow these simple tips, you can soon be well on your way to being the Ron Jeremy of linkbuilding.

8 thoughts on “Link Building Is Like Getting Laid

  1. Mat Siltala says:

    Got this comment from Melanie Nathan on Facebook, and felt it was worth sharing here:

    “You might even be able to try the usual lines like “don’t worry, no one will know about it and of course I will still respect you in the morning…”

    lmao. I’d agree with some of this. You definitely need to have thick skin and be able spot opportunities where others see obstacles. I also think having the power of persuasion comes in pretty handy ;)”

  2. Pingback: Link Building Is Like Getting Laid | Internet Marketing Blog : seowizards

  3. Amrin says:

    Link building, if done properly, will drive a huge amount of traffic to a website and the result is mostly positive. A competitive link building campaign must first be considered and hiring link builders is recommended. It is a continuous process.

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